Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
