ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
