this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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