chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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