I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
