I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
