Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize