dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
