oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can't turn off my feet"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
