would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
