idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
