i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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