I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
