I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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