bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize