How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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