Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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