you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
