I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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