Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
