Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
