addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
