I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
