you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I yelled at your uterus for you.
where are my eyebrows?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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