it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
