3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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