when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
