My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
