the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
