At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
