he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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