No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
