Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My room smells like vodka and shame
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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