Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
