idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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