"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
