I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
