I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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