I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
