we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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