my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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