Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
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What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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