so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize