he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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