Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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