the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
