Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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