no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
