six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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