4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
