She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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