Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
