his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
