It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
