Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
