my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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