I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize