For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
