can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
