Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
vagina is talking i cant
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
