You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Quick, to the slutcave!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
