Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
